Bed Time Scribbling - I

Sometimes, God doesn't want two people to be together. If you're an atheist, replace God by Nature. (If you're like Lily and Marshall, replace God by Universe).

This doesn't mean that there is wrong with either of the people but may be it's that the higher power knows that when these two wonderful people spend enough time together, either or both of them may loose their wonderfulness.
(On a lighter note, it is said that, "a love story ENDS with marriage". So, why end something that's wonderful.)

Sometimes, people get this as a reply when they approach certain someone, "We are friends but I'm no ready for it". You don't need to lower your self esteem and confidence after hearing this. My advise would be to stick to that person. As you have already lost your awkwardness by approaching first, stick to them and at every instant, show him/her what he/she's loosing by not having you.

Many of us doesn't know what we want but this is for sure that everyone wants to be less worried when it comes to personal domain. Some are risk takers and embrace challenges but what they appreciate is Business Risks, Marketing Challenges, Challenges in their research area but believe me no wants risks and challenges when it comes to personal sphere.
Everyone wants a happy go go life in this department and it is a prerequisite to a happy life.

Isliye, there's no need to get disheartened for very long when things don't work out. You don't need to carry your discontentment and disappointment to your grave. It was never a challenge so why keep working on it.

And always, try not to involve work with your personal affairs.
Your boss doesn't care about your break up. All he cares is that no one hits on his secretary except he himself and your colleagues might be just happy to hear after all they got a new company to escort them to bar every night.

So, wipe your tears with your sleeves as if they were beads of sweat and continue excelling in your work for it is the only legacy that you leave behind.

And apart from work whenever you get time, meet new people
and Yes,
Love can happen Twice. :)

Loose Sheets Vs. Notebook

As soon as I came to college, I began a new life; I wanted to amend a few things and I did. Out of all the amendment acts bestowed by me, one of them was writing on loose sheets and plain paper. Although, I gave plain paper, an approval after I started writing neat and straight without much of the deviation on the abscissa from the point where the word started to the point where the word ended. But eventually, I gave green signal to the plain paper, influenced not only by my recently acquired excellence in writing those days but also by the fact that plain paper was the only loose sheet that was available in the campus. Considering loose sheets were my priority, graph papers were also an option but isn't it obvious why I ruled it out?

Now the reason why I thought of loose sheets in the first place; I wanted to explore things to it's maximum depth and writing loose fuels that, in a way, that you can always keep adding your notes but notebook confines things. After all, you can skip to a different topic leaving a certain number of pages only. But when it comes to being loose, you can easily skip infinite pages.

The second is a very funny one. Many a times when I write, I loose enthusiasm in the middle of it. Something else tends to grapple my attention, resulting in an unmotivated piece of writing that would repulse anyone. The choice that I made makes sure that I add only the motivated writings and nothing else.

Ultimately, I dropped the idea of writing in Notebooks. But now after an year and a half, I'm thinking that may be, maybe writing in notebooks isn't bad after all.
Arranging everything chronologically is also a very good way of arranging things. Plus, it also saves a lot of effort which I put into managing loose sheets.

So, I finally, I'm making up my mind once again.
Academics- Loose Sheets (No Strings Attached)
Everything Else- The Notebook

Loose Sheets Vs. Notebook

So, basically what I did was I glued this Forever Heart

So, I reconnected with her. And let me tell you straight. It was no big deal, it was not an affair full of surprises but a very obvious and silent affair, not literally because it was Diwali a day before and everything was so full of noises specially Mukesh bursting crackers long after everyone went to their respective rooms except Bhanu who was still persuading me to sleep with him.

I called her up after a gap of four months. It took time to dial in the digits because last time when I got acquainted with that ugly phase, I deleted her number. 
 [but wait I shouldn't call that incident an ugly phase coz as far as I can remember the following day, it is the only day which I spent in a very routined way, morning breakfast, attending all the classes and issuing books from the library and going to bed right after dinner]
and I had to look into previous files and folders to look for her number. I called her up but all I heard was a busy tone and then I tried about for three times straight but the same thing happened.
And then after waiting for 10 to 15 mins, I called her again and this time she was on the other end.

The network was fucked up and hence our conversation was small, really really small but it was relaxing. It was like I was carrying this huge burden on my back and I disposed off all that encumbrance today.
I can't be angry with a person for too long as I figure out soon enough that whatever situation arises, there is some contribution of me too. The sooner I figure out, the quicker my anger sublimes. Therefore, though I talked to her today but that doesn't mean that I was angry all the way long. In fact I spitted out all the frustration and craziness right after two or three days and in these months, I even wished for her well being during every festival we came across. But I was abstaining myself from talking mainly because of two reasons. Firstly, I was looking for a beautiful just like a stereotypical Indian, waiting for a muhurt. :P. And secondly, I was testing myself that whether or not I can conquer myself. During the past one year, she became my habit and right after all these things happened, the initial days were very difficult and that was the prime reason, why I had to delete her digits. "Na rahega baans na bajegi bansuri". Since, I was trying to get away from her, my messaging habit got dull. But after about a month, everything became fine. I was no longer a love lorn. I got steering in my hands and now when I'm sure that I won't loose control, giving ride to person won't prove to be my doom rather it'd be a friendly gesture.

"Jinki manzille ek hoti hai, wo aksar raastein mein hi milte hai"

Why do I write here?

We live in a world where anyone can be a reporter anytime? Log in to twitter and you're a pigeon delivering messages and news.

We live in a world where anyone of us can be poets? Modern poems hardly need a rhyme scheme or a literary device. So, log in to poemhunter.com and congratulations you're one among the poets.

As a matter of fact, one can even be a novelist. Write your success story or if you failed, write your failure story and who knows. They can be the best sellers of tomorrow.

And here I am, wanting to be all of them but still stuck in my routinely affairs.

One of the prime reasons, Why I write here on Blogger is that my family and friends hardly know that I exist here.

I like to talk to people. I like to socialize. But very often almost all the time when I get into a conversation, I offend people. Although, I never mean to but it happens.

So, blogger is quite a nice place for me right now. I can write my mind here letting myself convinced that some way or the other, I'm socializing and since, hardly anyone knows of my presence here, it guarantees that no one is offended by me.

A perfect place for people like me.

Happy B'day Mummy

I remained awake for yet one more night defying what you scolded me for. This time I convinced myself by saying that "the 12 o' clock, go to bed rule was applicable only at home."

And as I made through the night eating the snacks you prepared for me, I witnessed a beautiful morning. It's 6AM and the clouds are still crowning the hills and seeing the density of the cloud, I think they'll stay for at least half an hour. But then you can't make any certain assumption about Guwahati's weather. It's her free will. She'll have whatever weather she wants. Just a day back, when I came out of the CAD lab, the rain and thunderstorms were so loud that it flooded almost whole of the campus. It reminded me of my dead cellphone. :( It was almost the similar rain, when my phone gave up last year.

On a Normal Day

During the Rain

This time I was very particular and I saved three phones that day. :D
You see I'm learning. Why do you always say that I don't learn from my mistakes?




I cleaned the curtain today. It was hanging in the same way for more than a year. And I came across a wonderful thing. The best way to dry the curtain is to hang them on the windows itself.  There's a thing worth noticing when it comes to curtains. No matter whether you leave them hanging or wash them, they don't look dirty neither they do look clean. I don't know why do they look this way. But yeah I can notice the refreshing smell of detergent coming from them. I guess that is one prime reason why we wash curtains.

Sorry mummy for hanging up.
Balance khatam ho gaya tha .
I'll call you in the morning.

And by the way it's still raining and it's reminding me of you and I love the way how you extend the phone conversation by asking about things you have asked about a few minutes before.

Love you Mummy.
<3

[ I know this is very unnatural birthday wish anyone would have received. People get better wishes from strangers, let alone I'm your son. You already know how much you mean to me and there's no repeating it and the words fall too short for it. That's why I wrote something which we normally talk about. Just like a regular day. I'm gonna make you feel like it's birthday, everyday]

The Woman III

It is my Mom's birthday.
It's raining outside.
The weekend is about to start from tomorrow.

I don't think there can be any better day to break up with you. I know you broke up a month ago and but I didn't. I still had you in my mind. I really think there should be some ground rules for breaking up. It should be like divorce. I mean both the people should sign the document at the same time. Well here after a month and a half, I'm giving up on you.
You might think why I am I doing this all of a sudden. Well, I have been tracing back to how it all started in the first place and I came to a conclusion, it was never you, but the idea of being in Love in a long distance is what I loved. I had fantasies about it and I even told you this thing once.

"Just think of it, we haven't meet a single time and we'll be meeting for the first time after knowing each other for an year and then year after year we'll meet like this. All of it feels like some fairy tale".
But you know this is not the age of fairies but it's an age of Bitches. In no way I'm disrespecting, I;m just writing about the general thing that's happening with people these days with some instances that may be private. Whooo! I'm not taking names.

It wasn't your fault either. I don't recall a single time when you advanced [i think that's the right word]. You never let your guard down.

So, here I am signing in for a new journey.
Wish me luck only if you have good thoughts in mind.

Good Bye!!

The Sexless Inkeeper

"It was the night before new year's
and the weather grew mean.
It was 3:00 in the morning
and I was stranded in queens."
 
"The tavern grew empty,
the gas lights grew dim."
"The horse-drawn carriages
were all but snowed in..."

"Last call was approaching
and my fortunes looked bleak."
"Then I turned to my left
and stifled a shriek."

"She had a peach fuzz beard
and weighed 16 stone."
"She gobbled up hot wings
and swallowed the bones."
 
"I muffled a scream
and threw up in my mouth."
I asked, "Where do you live?"
And she said, 
"One block south."

"I swallowed my pride
and six shots of whiskey."
"And prayed to the gods
that she wasn't too frisky."

"Back in her cave,
she prepared us a snack."
"Neath her mighty hooves,
the floorboards did crack."

"But when she returned,
she found a sound sleeper.
"And thus she became
the Sexless Innkeeper."


[Taken from HIMYM Season 5]

I started loving it from the very first time I listened to it. Plus, the video is so wonderfully made, it makes you roll with laughter. Now coming to what actually is "The Sexless Inkeeper". When you plan getting laid by offering someone shelter but instead she trolls you by just sleeping and snorting.

Or in a broader perspective it may also mean that "using" a person in return of a hypothetical sexual favor. It's kind of gross both ways. If you take sexual favor it is gross on your side, and if you give sexual favor, it is gross on your side too. It is common pretty much common these days and we guys often become a victim of being "The Sexless Inkeeper".

Let's learn a way how to turn these life lemons into lemonade.


"It was the night before this one,
I had hours to kill.

I sat in the tavern,
grading parchments with quill."

"A busty, young lassie
flashed me a grin.
Her garb said "classy",
but her eyes whispered "sin".

She said, "You're a teacher?"
I said, "Yes, indeed".
"I must have you", she moaned.
"I'm turned on by tweed".

With haste we did scamper
to my chamber anon.
We fell to the couch,
and, bro, it was on.

I unlaced her bodice.
Our passions grew deeper.
And thus ends the tale
f the Sexless Innkeeper."

The Woman II

I never said " I Love You" to her, yet there isn't a single sentence I said, that doesn't mean that "I Love You".
Why can't she notice?
How can she be so blind?
She get all the stupid jokes I make and she still can't get this. Really?
And for all the stupid jokes I made, I really turned out to be a joker in the end.

Today morning, I was thinking of telling my sister about the "so called break up" and then right now in the middle of night, I feel like talking to her after a gap of one and half months.
Why do my mind gets so fickle when it comes to her?
Why do my credits lie on such slippery ground?


I feel at times very disappointed when I think about this cloudy situation, I'm into but still there is a reason left to thank God and i.e., "Thanks for creating circumstances that I wasn't able to meet her". If without meeting, I get so paranoid, what would have happened if we met.

5th of September

Although I thought to inbox her this but the day passed so quick that I wasn't able to send. Since, we are not on good talking terms anymore, it's kind of lame to post things late. Lately, because I feel lonely, I need audience to almost everything I write but I'm sure that she doesn't know about this place and therefore I'm posting it here.


Now I think that it isn't a surprise to you anymore as I crawl into your inbox once again. Since, it's the third time in a row, I expect that you now must be knowing  "Why am I here again"?

Clichéd Question
But the reply differs from person to person.

The Poets put them in their Poem
The Engineers in their Innovation
The Researchers in their Papers
And The Brave in their Swords

I've had 20 springs of my life and I'm right now neither of them and I don't know how to put it in front of you.

You must be seeing a pattern by now.
First, The Friendship Day
Second, The day when you left your home
Third, Eid Mubarak

And fourth, well
Happy Teacher's Day

I know this must be making you feel old. You're the youngest person I'm wishing this day. But let me tell you a thing which might relieve you a bit.
"Before you, the youngest person whom I wished this day is just about three or four years elder to you and she's too a girl. :P"

Everyone is ready to pour in advices but one learns when he sees others of their age executing those advices perfectly, which makes you one of the person from whom I learnt a couple of things. Allow me recite the lessons I learnt from you

"The beauty of a beauty lies in how you preserve that beauty".
"The more you run away, the more you'll be ran after but then this can continue only for a while not forever"
"Long Distance never works but when you think you can start a thing over long distance, you're world's biggest fool".
"Focus on yourself, automatically people will focus at you."
"There's a cure to everything, even for Lost Love. [Just get involved in something, get driven coz the moment you sit idle, your mind will start forming a picture before your eyes.
And in those moments only, one writes a blog like this.]
So, thank you for all the lessons.
Good Day

Four Nights and Three Days of Perfection

It was the starting days of the third semester and I was getting both on and off whether to be in the team or not. I was not having any good deals in my hand. Nothing was going positive for me and besides that the weather was so ugly those days, that every day when I went to the city and came back, it felt like I'm coming after winning a battle. I was fighting and was loosing every day. Being the most elite team here in college, it is our duty to maintain that level of awesomeness and as every day were passing by, we thought we were robbing it out of it's perfection.

We gave up everyday.
But after every meeting at 10 o' clock in the night, we were all prepared to fight again.

There is something special when your senior yells at you in a meeting and smiles at you when he sees you roaming around.
So, after all the disguised motivation [all of it came through scolding] and after all the smiles and suggestions behind the scene, the stage was all set to witness "how Pixels get Perfect".


30th August and these line came from one of our Mentors, "This is the Best Opening Night of Techniche over all these years."

I pause and look around for a while and what I see is, Each and every soul is working so fondly, so dedicatedly, so minutely that I think if this doesn't go perfect, then nothing is perfect even in paradise.

31st August, The 2nd Year Marky Team knows how we figuratively raped a guy when he posted something displeasing over the internet. :D

#When you see your mentors carrying the table and the girls doing the infra.
"Give it to us, bhaiya. We'll carry it."
"Nahi ab kitna bhi time lage, we'll carry it nahi toh hamari feel aadhi reh jaegi."

Where in the world you'll get seniors like this. Where in the world, you'll get a team like this.
Here you see the pixels who made a perfect T'12.

Pixels of Perfection

September couldn't have kicked off any better. To begin a month with a Laser Show penetrating to every dimension of your life is truly living a dream.
And at last when everything came down to Day 3, all of us were dewy eyed and hoped that the legacy continues.
Here's for a brighter T'13.

It feels so royal to witness all of it. It's like "Princess DIANA gave you a ROOF above your head" [it's literally heavenly roof now] and the love you get from your elders, "well every BIT of it is so CHEMically pure" that it's totally incredible.[You see, title sponsor reaches even to people's personal blog and still they have hard time understanding the price slab]


A Blinding Flash, A Deafening Clap
I always strike with a Bolt of Glory

We're going to Strike Soon

Perfection reaching to each and every Pixel

Tomorrow Techniche'12 will be declared open. Well, Techniche'12 never was closed. Unlike, other Techno Management or other College Fests, Techniche never stays dormant. It is always eventful, always engaging. We have "Technothlon aka Techno", We have "The Guwahati Half Marathon" , We have "Escalades" organized in different cities, the "Online Events", and all of these happenings never allow us to keep the shutter down. Well, honestly speaking, we never want the shutter to go down. We "Celebrated Innovation" for four days last year and right from the next day, we started the work for Winter Publicity of Techno.

From the college which never sleeps, we present to you the Fest which never sleeps.

I don't have anything to brag about what I did last year [Trust me you'll never want others to know that all you did was infra work :P] and I don't know that the efforts that I put in [ jitna fight mare (as we speak here) ] this year is worth bragging about or not but I know about the simple joy it brings to me when I find all of it happening.

Many a times when I see everyone working for it, I like there's a big wedding in my house and I'm a kid. All I'm asked to do is to be polite and nice to everyone. I don't do anything yet I feel so ecstatic to be a part of it.

And I want to quote a  line from Srijan Bhaiya's blog that, "It is all there, the perfect ingredients for something so perfect that its only imperfection is that it is difficult for it to be any more perfect than what it already is." [Bhaiya, I just changed the Tense.. :P]

I see my seniors and my batch mates working their asses off. Also, the tiny new members of our family doing what they're asked to do. I see them putting their whole heart into it, right from a simple team member to the Heads and the Convener, trying to perfect their job in every possible way.
I guess that's why it's called "Pixelating Perfection".

Jai Techniche. \m/

One of the posters from the last year

The Woman

I don't want to meet you, not even in my dreams. Moreover, I don't even want to bump into you. It's just that I feel so naked when I find you in my vicinity. You know how I feel, you know what I think, you know what's going in my head, you know what I'll do next and yet I can't trust you. You know everything about me and despite being turned down, I can't stop thinking about you. Perhaps, I left a part of me inside you and may be that's keeping me clung to you. A part of me that's partly inside you and partly inside me and no matter how hard I try to take that part back, I keep leaving more of me inside every time in my attempt.
I don't know what was in you which brought me towards you in the first place and it's just crazy that we haven't had met even once.
How can one develop such a strong liking to a person without even meeting once?
How can one afflict such an enormous pain without even touching?
How can one ...............

Trying to Balance

My daily routine is so flexible that I end up messing everyday. I hardly recall a single thing, which I planned and end up doing on the schedule on which I preplanned. It's not because I prefer doing one thing and often at times, I keep doing a particular thing for prolonged hours and at the end of the day I miss on every other thing. It's just that it's getting difficult to manage academics, work and play. Even when I do come up with some kind of routine, I end up failing at it drastically right from the next hour because of it's rigidity and hardness.
"They say what doesn't kills you, makes you stronger".
For me the days are going like.
"What doesn't kills you, makes you spend another day thinking you can be killed at any moment".
Pushing myself isn't working.You can push yourself once, twice, thrice or a few more than that. But you can't push yourself every day. It strains you and once you get injured, after a few days of recovery, you're back in the league of Ordinary Gentleman with Ordinary Pace.

I need a Balanced Life Style.

Was it Real?

“"I'm coming, Fatima,"

I finished reading “The Alchemist” and it had a deep impact on my mind. From past few days, I’ve been taking everything happening in my life into consideration, looking for omens, looking for the hints that destiny wants to reveal and many a times, it gets overlooked. I even got my own Urim and Thummim, (they are just rock crystals). I got out of the second floor of the “Institute Library”. I took the stairs and meanwhile I was thinking whether to browse through journals and magazines on the first floor or to go straight to my room. I took out those stones and thought they would guide me.

“First Floor, it is”

As I made my way in, a girl walked out. I didn’t have a good look on her face as I was keeping those stones in my pocket.

“This can never be my destiny, to leave a girl and walk into the library”, I said to myself as I walked into the reading hall.

I was still in doubt. I didn’t know if it is right going after her. Ultimately, I took out the stone and threw them away.

“They can never guide me. These are just stones. Man should make his decision on his own.”

As they hit the floor, a thunder was heard and soon enough it started to rain. It seemed like a movie clip. Me throwing the stone, the sound of clouds colliding and thunder and then the rain.

I laughed it off and went down. She was standing at the portico. She looked towards the sky and then into her book. The book had a red binding and sticker, which clearly said that it’s been issued from the library. The way she stared at the sky gave me the hint that she wanted “Rain! Rain Go Away”.

I took umbrella out of my bag. Ever since, my phone got damaged in the rain, I’ve been carrying umbrella in my bag daily. But I never expected that this would act as a conversation starter someday.

“You can come under my umbrella, if you want to” I said with a smile.

She didn’t even look at me. I started walking again forgetting about her.

“Did you ask just to run away”, she asked.

I didn’t see her face expression while she said this as I already started to walk. I was surprised.

It wasn’t long since the rain started but still the stairs outside were wet. We slowly walked on those and then reached the round about. I took the left turn.

“Where are you going? The girls’ hostel is this way (pointing her hand in the right direction)”,

“I thought you’ve to go to the lecture theater. Seeing the book you issued is a text book, not a leisure reading. I inferred that you’re studious and you attend lectures regularly.”

“Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” she smiled as she said this.

“Anyways, let’s go by the long road then”, she added.

We quietly walked together. All I could hear was the raindrops splashing on the cemented path ways. The grasses looked greener than they usually look because the rain had washed away all the dirt and dust from their blades. The ducks were very quite in the lake. I was steeping my foot hard on the ground because this kind of silence was making me feel awkward.

“Don’t your hairs bother you”, she asked all of a sudden.

“I should have asked the same question to you. Your hairs are twice or rather I should say thrice longer than me.”

“Your beard then?” she said.

“Not at all. Not unless the mustache grow. Only when they almost come on my lips, I get irritated. Otherwise, it’s fine.”

“And what about you, you have recently started putting on glasses. Does that bother you?” I asked

“Yeah, they stick in my hairs sometimes. But not much. At least they let me see properly.”

The road between the auditorium and lake is narrow and while we were walking down that road, her hand touched mine a few times. But I tried avoiding looking at her every time it happened. We continued walking together and soon the hostel entrance came.

“It’s time for good bye then” I said softly.

“Not so early” she came closer and kissed on my cheek.

The umbrella dropped off from my hand because of this sudden reaction of her and I was all wet. To take a good look at her I took off my glasses to wipe it clean but by the time I was about to put it on, she vanished.

And therefore, I woke up. I woke up from my sleep.

“God, why do you give such dreams”

I rubbed my spectacles and put it on. All of it felt so real that I even touched my cheek as soon as I woke up. That gentle kiss reminded me of my girlfriend. Her soft lips as if they are the petals of rose.

I called her.

(tring) (tring)..

I hardly would have completed saying “Hello” to her. She interrupted in between.

“I was just about to call you, Piyush. You know what, it rained here today. And while I was walking under the umbrella, I felt like you were walking next to me. The rain drops can be easily heard but still it was so quite all around that I started thumping my feet to make crazy sounds. It felt like you were holding my hand. And as soon as I reached my home, you called.”

“It all feels so great”, she added.

I was speechless. How in the world, would I’ve reacted to this?

“Piyush, it’s so long. I haven’t kissed you. Kiss me over the phone”

“mmmmuuah”

“mmmmuaaah”

(disconnected)